December 2008
8 posts
I should have been studying all day, but I slept...
Because I had one of those nights that people write about and make movies where 13 year old kids get high and watch it and cite all of the catchy phrases.
Went to Com[mutiny] last night at the Delancey with Najy, after hours of going back and forth of whether or not I wanted to go, since Rainier was here and I didn’t want to ditch him. But I did, because I got the chance to perform, and...
Watchmore coverage of the steampunk day at BIM that I modeled for…
REALLY REALLY RECOMMENDED FILM
Rainer and I just got finished watching a documentary entitled “Dear Zachary.”
We were just sitting around with the teevee on but both of us got completely enamored in the story within 15 minutes.
Then we both cried at the ending.
Everyone needs to watch it. Everyone needs to take action against injustices that made this documentary so fucking emotional. Things like this...
There are days when you realize how lucky you are
Today is one of them. I love you honey.
“We’re selling candy because it’s better than selling drugs.”
– Kid on the G Train trying to sell candy for a dollar.
I was a cute kid
My Fifth Grade Boyfriend: Remember when you were scared to kiss me in your attic?
reasons why I wish I were still living with...
In response to letting her know about how I’m moving out of the Bedford house (where we used to both live, before she was kicked out):
“can we shit on their porch nooooooooow?”
In response to telling her how stupid I was for getting a brazilian wax the day before my period:
“hah, we’re still cycling together *sighs happily*”
And of course, her brilliant use...
I always move
But whenever I’m about to I go through major qualms about it. Second-guessing myself. Good idea? Bad idea? I weigh the pros and cons. Think it’s a bad idea but do it anyway, usually. Then I start to really love where I live and not want to move about a week before I do, and then I end up being happy that I moved. What am I gonna do?
November 2008
23 posts
I was walking by the dance studio at school, and I felt a wave of bitterness hit me and a strong desire to be in that studio, and then, just as I was thinking that, I heard the teacher in her strong bougeois accent say “Mary I don’t know what’s wrong with your wrist but it looks terrible.” Then I remembered why I’m not in that studio.
I mean, yay!??!! →
so i went to a party last night at the delancey, where my girl najy was go-go dancing. was a queer\lesbian event. sexy women everywhere. i gave one of the go-go dancers a dollar, and she leans down… “can i kiss you?” sure thing, ma. that made me happy. but then i realized that she kisses every girl who gives her a dollar, and that made me laugh. girls like that, though...
the weather has gotten too cold. pull out scarves, mittens, and keep the boyfriend here as long as possible in an effort to form a caccoon for two. skin is cracking and coffee no longer wakes me up.
beautiful weekend with the boy. movies, order-in thai food, hours of sex and then hours of rest. at the end of the weekend, though, i felt like i didnt deserve these days of rest. i live in nyc,...
Ms. Moonshine
Thank you, truly.
Why Pixie cracks me up
Pixie: Our lives seem exciting as hell from the outside. They are supposed to be.
i am a married turkish dominatrix in nyc with parents thousands of miles away
and im bored.
Me: HAHAHAH
------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: God I had such good sex this weekend.
Pixie: bitch
closest I got was wiping my nose.
Spent another beautiful weekend with Rainier. We played mock household up at his neighbor’s place, babysitting their dogs. I kind of feel like they are us in ten years, or is that jumping ahead too fast? The house is exactly how I would decorate it, and she is just like I am, and he is just like he is. It’s creepy, but fucking soothing. Staying there was great, we had people over...
we win!!!
Young folks are taking over the world!!! (Well, young folks and old folks who have a clue…)
I was sitting with Rainier and his lovely friends in a basement in Jersey drinking 3 dollar wine and I glanced up at the teevee, with Obama and Biden and their adorable families glowing, and a wonderfully speckled audience, full of all sorts of beautiful people, and I said something like: “Who...
October 2008
41 posts
in a constant state of exhaustion
and dissapointment in myself.
one more absence and I fail that unremarkably easy class. Why? Cause I don’t want to get up at 8 AM like the rest of the world. Studying for a class now and all of the worlds are running around and switching spots and I have to squint to make out a letter.
Fourth cup of coffee and I could still fall asleep.
I usually want to be awake for life. Why am I...
im questioning this dinty moore meal
I feel like there should be something really wrong with keeping chicken, unrefrigerated, covered in gravy and mashed potatoes. Why doesn’t it go bad? Why am I eating it? Ugh..
“The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want...”
– Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder May 1994
New York Magazine coverage of the event →
Of course, I look a hot mess in the slideshow… this was before makeup was on and the corset was done up.
he has invaded my dreams
so i dont think he will be going anywhere soon.
my roommate is in the process of moving out and im quite sad. at least ill only have to live alone for a month or so. her side of the room is so bare…its creepy.
school is getting to me
because I never sleep, and I never have time for it.
I’m on adderall tonight for last-minute studying for an exam on God knows what. Haven’t been to the class in 3 weeks. I’ve just been reading the entire text cause I don’t know what’s on it.
I have two hours left until it wears off.
So I’ll be getting two hours of rest before the day begins.
Kristin and...
I'm modeling Kristin's work in this awesome... →
popcorn is made to be burnt
really, who the hell can actually pop a good bag? i always get those sour tasting, charred kernels. part of what makes it great, i suppose. it’s a game.
I went to Yoga the other day, and the entire time I felt like I was underwater. I couldn’t breathe.
I need a massage.
But I’m lucky, I really am. I’m making it. I’m landing with my feet on the ground, though there were a few bruises to get there.
Thank you, people who I love, for being fucking amazing. And fuck it, people who I don’t love, you guys are alright...
“I want to beg of you much as I can to be patient
toward all that’s...”
– Rainer Maria Rilke (from Letters to a Young Poet)